Born of hormones and anxieties it may be, but how to overcome this sense of physical fatigue? Just now, playing into the upper third register and above feels like it requires more effort than I am able to make. Focussing is difficult – both in terms of mental discipline and clarity of tone. I feel as though I am tensing muscles in my face and throat that are usually completely relaxed just to make a sound, and the sound I make is unpleasant. And the idea of doing any other kind of work (compiling notes for my paper, for example) is just plain depressing.

I think that maybe I need to schedule in regular rest and snack breaks – 30 min naps or Alexander tech lie-downs; eating fruit, nuts, muesli bars etc. – in order to get any kind of energy flowing. What may also help is practising in short stints, also 30 mins, but trying to keep them happening regularly. And I need to ensure my thoughts stay positive during those sessions, which was not the case in my botched attempt at practise this morning. To keep things feeling fresh I will only practise works from the end, working backwards, and once I am focussing a little better then I’ll selecting out the difficult passages to work on in detail.

30 min nap now, then 30 min practise stint – I’ll set an alarm. Maybe I’ll write another entry later with thoughts on this method…


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