Progress report

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A progress report – to myself, as always. I’d meant to write a post like this the last three days, but I was actually busy doing things – like practising, writing (masters), German study, and the like…!! I do seem to be getting onto a bit of a roll, helped along by the fact that I have no other commitments currently and the Con is air conditioned and full of free practise rooms. It’s thoroughly nice!

My plan for January 2nd was almost completely realised – as close to as possible I would say. And since then I’ve been practising at least 3hrs per day, and have written some 1,500 words of mostly rubbish for my mid-term review paper (but, hey, that’s a hell of a lot better than what I wrote ALL December: i.e. nothing). It’s not perfect, I’m experiencing some tension in my wrists that probably comes from trying to push tempo in finger exercises beyond my actual ability and also the fact that my use-of-self seemed to degrade rather a lot over the course of last month. But this kind of work means that progress is actually possible. Progress would be nice!

The challenge at this point is to refrain from expectations of how things are going to go (as much as possible, we’re talking long-term ingrained habit here). The two major traps for me, as I imagine they are for anyone, are foreseeing ultimate success – this perfect and dedicated work will just continue from now until forever, the start of this year being the absolute starting point – or inevitable failure – the cyclic return of my various problems, which will likewise continue forever (unless I manage to create/find an absolute starting point of ultimate success). As Liam would say, I’m a little terrorist – things become very black and white and either it will go this way or that, there is no third path. Either I must succeed completely this time, or else I fail forever. Well, I’m doing my best to avoid that kind of thinking.

This morning I met a couple of fresh little problems and overcame them relatively well I think. I felt a bit distracted and tired as I started my practise session, but I’d planned it out well, and I simply set my alarm at 10min intervals and was strict with stopping whatever I was doing when it buzzed, moving onto the next task. And so I got through an hour’s practise with perhaps a little more force and self-discipline than is usually necessary.

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