A little bit of goal setting

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The last week, I feel like I’ve fallen behind a bit. I’ve procrastinated far too much, which only leads to all kinds of bad emotions and pretty rotten self-esteem. It’s difficult to not shoot blame at myself when I get into a pattern of avoidance, and it’s something I’m going to have to address this year I think. So painful, on many levels. Anyway, I’m going to set myself a few goals now, and if I achieve them by the time Liam gets back from Sydney (Monday) then I might just allow myself a little (planned) time off…

  1. Mock run of YPA program: 11.30am Monday 23 Jan, IHRH. By the way, everyone is invited to this, which means the first thing I need to do is:
    • send emails, inviting people to attend and confirming with Alex and Amy that they’re playing too
    • seriously focus on preparation of Hurel’s Loops and the Feld Sonate, as well as refreshing Ford’s Female Nude – I propose an hour per day of Hurel work (it’s so notey, and I need to really secure the rhythmic changes and make sure they are audibly clear), plus 30mins each on the other two, plus basic tech work and warm-up
    • I’ve already run my accompanied pieces with Mitchell, but listening to recordings of each of them again and doing some serious mental practise is necessary
    • think through pre-performance routine for Monday, plan it out
  2. Have drafted a full and detailed structure of new chapter of paper, filled in with all quotes to be used (that means all reading is complete) and heavy notes. Really all that can be left is joining sentences and re-writing for flow.
    • Friday: formalise structural outline and add further detail, find all quotes from about Fichte (in Bowie and Novalis), as well as most of the music related stuff (Stravinsky, Cook, and Barthes).
    • Saturday: continue to refine and add detail to structure, as well as notes, plus put in Lacanian quotes (Fink and Dolar especially). Which split are we talking about here exactly? Real-symbolic? Real-imaginary? etc.
    • Sunday: go through whole thing and keep adding notes and drawing things together.
  3. German – 30mins work a day as usual: some Michel Thomas speaking practise, continuing grammar work and Berliner Platz workbook, and write an ’email’ (in German) describing tourist attractions in Brisbane.
  4. Tidy up a little and do a fruit & veg shop (today!).

Gah, it’s awful to feel I am here at this point of behindness yet again … Now I need to do my absolute best not to feel overwhelmed and just knuckle down and get it done.

Also, I have discovered a book that may actually be terribly useful. Usually these things are full of mystical rubbish, but this one is full of common sense and excellent practical advice: The Musician’s Way by Gerald Kickstein. Pretty sure it should be a set text for all tertiary performance students, and especially those that go on to teach instrumental music – in schools, privately, whatever. This is the stuff that your private teacher is expected to teach you, but 1. they don’t, either because they found a practise method that worked for them and that’s all they know or because they believe you need to find it all out for yourself (a kind of immaculate conception really), and 2. they often can’t, due to the demands of recital/audition/competition preparation and teaching vast amounts of repertoire in really a very short time. I would like to see this kind of stuff taught in a separate course (at the Con, for example, this is what the “My Life as a Musician” subject should contain). Anyhow…

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